January 2010
I Don't Like This.
I think I’m depressed.
Not really sure.
But it would make sense.
Plus my mom told me yesterday that she still might have cancer in the throat.
which has me worried.
I’m scared.
So, The Other Night Really Kicked My Ass.
I didn’t eat all day.
Then drank some lovely forties.
Like I always do.
Get ghetto when alls I have is four rupees.
But as stated before, I didn’t eat all day.
So those two forties(plus a sixteen ouncer) REALLY fucked my shit up.
It was a good night though.
Hung with Jeebs, Cory, Mike, Jooce, and then eventually Ed.
We all hung out.
Played rock band.
Then talked for a bit....
Denial.
Hung out with a friend the other day.
Played some video games.
Then she straight up asked me if I wanted to have sex.
I told her no.
I can’t do something like that.
Not with all the going ons in my head currently.
Not with this situation I’m in.
Part of me said no because I want to wait.
So it wouldn’t seem right to do.
does that makes sense?
of course it...
I've Been Thinking...
Why would anyone want to be with someone like me?
who am I kidding, right?
with whatever happened, a lot insecurities were brought back.
and I hate it.
I should have never let down my guard…
Covet.
it feels as though, now that you can get what you couldn’t have previously, you don’t want it anymore.